JESSTHEDRAMAMAMA

SOURCE: WINTER_BABY. GOSSIP GIRL: Spotted: Chuck Bass waiting for the jitney, a dozen roses in one hand, his heart in the other. You know what they say: a man is a good thing to come home for. But an even better thing to come home with. Ain't karma a bitch? We know Blair Waldorf is. BLAIR: Are you crazy? A hot lifeguard is like kleenex: use once and throw away.

BLAIR: James is the classiest guy I've ever met. He drinks gin martinis, and he speaks six languages, and he gave me this amazing Bulgari pearl choker with a gold bead clasp on it.SERENA: I thought your dad gave you that. Who's James?

SERENA: Oh my god, B, he sounds amazing. The last time we talked you hadn't even met him.

BLAIR: Oh I know. He swept me off my feet, he's so charming. Plus he tells the best stories.

CHUCK: You're lying.
BLAIR: I am not.

CHUCK: Your eyes are doing that thing where they don't match your mouth.
BLAIR: I wasn't aware that robots got jealous. Did they update your software while I was away?

CHUCK: Come on. You and I both know this guy is just a prop you brought to try and hurt me. Like I hurt you.
BLAIR: You didn't hurt me.

BLAIR: Well, I will admit waiting for you in Tuscany the first two days was mildly humiliating.

BLAIR: But when I realized you weren't going to show, I rallied. Luckily I made a friend on the trip over.
CHUCK: Boring Ben? My dad's ex-employee? By the way, I had him fired just for you.
Oh Martin, we hardly knew ye.

BLAIR: Well, I owe him everything. He introduced me to James. You know, I think he might be the one.CHUCK: Prove it.BLAIR: I don't have to prove anything. But if you want to get to know James better I'll bring him to dinner tonight. I'll bet you'll like him just as much as I do.
CHUCK: And if by that you mean I won't like him at all, then you're right. I'll see you at 7.

BLAIR: Now how about we go find that lifeguard. But we have to stop at Nate's first. He has something of mine that I need.

CHUCK: So James, did you have a chance to meet Harold and, uh... what is his boyfriend's name again?
LORD MARCUS: Roman? Only briefly at the chateau. Although Cat didn't seem to like me nearly as much. I have the scars to prove it.
CHUCK: Well, you have crammed an awful lot into such a short time together. I wonder, has Blair had a chance to share her favorite movies with you yet? Tiffany's, Roman Holiday, and of course, Charade.

LORD MARCUS: I thought your third favorite was Funny Face.BLAIR: It is. I hate Charade. Chuck, stop harassing him.

ERIC: Yeah, How Well Do You Know Blair Waldorf is kind of boring for those of us who actually know Blair Waldorf.
CELIA: Not to mention transparent.
CHUCK: Well, thank you, Grandma.
CELIA: Why is it when you say that word it sounds like an insult?
LORD MARCUS: No, no, I don't mind. I would like to learn as much as I can about Blair. And there's no better way to learn than through a quiz.

CHUCK: Well, it's a shame you guys took the bus and not a limo. I don't know if you know this, but Blair loves limo-

BLAIR: Sweetie, will you please pass me the salt and pepper?

Here's the thing about Chuck being in love with Blair or whatever you want to call it. I do agree that it takes away some of his edge, but I'm kind of loving it because now the stakes are so much higher. I predict Chuck is going to go to new and unprecedented heights to manipulate Blair into being his, and Blair in turn will keep dishing out these really awesome LOW BLOWS.

CHUCK: Excuse me. I think I just lost my appetite.
BLAIR: Will you excuse me?

BLAIR: Chuck.

CHUCK: Look, I know what that pin means to you. You gave it to Nate the first time you said you loved him.
BLAIR: I asked for it back. I thought James should have it now.

CHUCK: Do you really feel the same way about him as you did Nate?
BLAIR: I do.

CHUCK: I'll see you at school.

BLAIR: Oh my goodness, my pin must have gotten caught on your sweater by mistake.LORD MARCUS: Oh wow. I didn't feel anything.

BLAIR: Neither did I.

BLAIR: Damn that motherchucker! He's totally right. I don't even like James.

SERENA: Thank you. I was waiting for that.
BLAIR: I only hooked up with him a week ago because I knew that I couldn't get off the plane alone. And it would kill me if Chuck knew he'd ruined my summer.
SERENA: Oh, B, I'm so sorry. Was it really bad?
BLAIR: I would be in my cabana at the Hotel du Cap and there he would be. Amid all the fireworks on Bastille Day, all I could see was that Chuck Basstard!

CHUCK: The limo's taking me back in an hour. You're welcome to join me.
NATE: You're not going to the White Party? Come on, pretty girls in white dresses.
CHUCK: Unless there's a sprinkler, I don't care. Besides, it's tourist season in the city. Easy pickings.
NATE: Uh-huh.
CHUCK: OK, and I don't want Blair throwing her callboy in my face.

BLAIR: At least I could have gotten a more interesting stand-in than James. Do you know how hard it is to find a good fake boyfriend on short notice?
SERENA: He was smart and fun at tea yesterday. And he's really cute too.
BLAIR: You don't have to lie anymore, Serena. He's served his purpose. Now that Chuck is on his way back to the city, I can dump James just in time to go to the White Party stag.

CHUCK: Good morning, Waldorf.

BLAIR: It was until now.

CHUCK: So where's Princeton. I'm surprised you let him get away.

BLAIR: James goes to Georgetown. And unlike you, I don't lose something if I let it out of my sight.
CHUCK: I don't know where you've been, but your boy toy is a Princeton man. He and I talked about it while you played dress up with Serena last night.
BLAIR: You misheard, Chuck. He's always going on and on about his crew division and his seeding(?) club. He's Georgetown all the way.

CHUCK: I know he said Princeton.
BLAIR: Georgetown.

CHUCK: Princeton.
BLAIR: Georgetown!

BLAIR: Serena, let's go!

CHUCK: Eric, it's me. You were at dinner last night. What college does Blair's consort go to? Yeah, well, that's not what he told Blair. Do some research, Junior.I'm in the mood to be right.

ERIC: So not only did James Schiller not go to Princeton, he also didn't go to Georgetown. In fact, I couldn't find a record of him at any of the big schools.
NATE: Since when did you become Sherlock Holmes?If this is alluding to what I think it's alluding to, then it's very cute.